…on seasons
sometimes winter is bright and clear. but often it’s dark and grey and cold and even a little scary.
While there are parts of winter that I love (snowboarding, rich foods, holidays), there is also so much of it that I have always kind of.... resisted. Especially living in Vancouver, I’ll be honest – it can be dang hard! We can go literally months without seeing the sky and with rain every. Single. Day. It gets to be a bit much! Typically, my family combats this by going away in the winter to somewhere hot and sunny (yes, literally escaping). Obviously, this year that was not an option for us (not only because of *gestures vaguely* all this, but with everything I have going on with family also). I’ll admit that I was dreading it. I started to feel a bit panicky in September, months ahead of time, because I could feel it coming.
So many of us have been pushed over this last year into working more, longer, harder – doing multiple people’s jobs. That is real! And when we look around it can feel like “everyone else” is thriving – baking bread! Learning a new thing! Gardening! Even with the slowing of the world in some ways over the last year, rest still seems to be a radical act. Rest can still feel “unproductive”, allowing a season for more naps, more books, more watching netflix in bed on a Tuesday afternoon? These things can feel so indulgent, unimportant. There is so much to do! How can I just take some time to have a bath in the middle of the day??
But with all the worry that I had leading up to it, I realized when it showed up that I was actually more prepared for it than I thought. So much of the personal work I've done during this last weird year has been around cycles and seasons. It’s been a huge paradigm shift to come to a place where I can truly feel that all are necessary for the cycle of life. Without the dark rest, things won't be ready to bloom in the spring. It's just science! And aren't we basically just complicated plants??
But Annika! The world doesn’t stop needing things because I’m tired! A field left unplanted doesn’t turn a profit!
AND
In winter, it looks like everything is dead. (It feels like it too sometimes!) BUT! There is so much work going on under ground. Trees are pulling in energy from their branches to store up in their roots. If plants don't get the opportunity to rest and chill (literally), they don't store up enough energy to produce healthy happy blooms. If plants were actively growing in the cold months, the water within the plant structure could freeze, causing massive damage to these structures. What happens if we farm a field constantly, if it never get time to sit fallow? The soil depletes and eventually it won’t grow things – but that doesn’t happen overnight. It happens slowly, season by season producing a little less, or lower quality crops. As humans that might show up like feeling exhausted, burnt out, overwhelmed all the time.
In short, we actually can’t afford not to take the rest time in the long run.
So I've been just sitting - drinking tons of tea, writing more, taking more time to tune in to what's been resting below ground and what might be ready to start to come up this year. I've been connecting in deeply to my oils (one little special protocol in particular, blog post on it coming soon), and also giving myself so much permission to rest when I’ve need it. I've also spent much of the last month dialling back into my nutrition, because I know that for me, one of the best things I can do for my mental health and clarity is to be mindful of how much sugar/grains/alcohol/processed food I consume. I've been moving my body, spending (most) mornings in some silence and stillness, and most of all I have been giving myself permission.
Because “rest” that is spent worrying, or judging, or in fear about what’s not getting done? Not super restful! Does that mean this is going to be easy? Heck to the nope. Even with all I’ve
Out of all this, the beauty of trusting this season is knowing that when spring comes – as it will, as it always does – I’ll be rested. I’ll be ready.
If you’re curious to dive into any of this in more detail, I’ve been learning this year from the following powerhouse women - all have courses and programs that have been instrumental to the unlearning I have done this year.
Sarah Jenks - Whole Woman course
Kate Northrup - Do Less book (and I’ve just joined her Origin Collective)
Li Fryling - my business mentor has just launched the first of many courses this year and I cannot enough recommend tapping in to what she’s sharing
